Here we go again. Another day, another pile of your money set on fire in the name of “green innovation.” Yesterday, it was three-quarters of a million bucks into a renewable battery company that’s already belly-up. Today? Albanese and his mates have thrown $2.9 million into “battery trailers.”
Now, in case you missed it, that’s a giant trailer full of batteries… to charge electric cars when they run out of power. Think about how insane that is. The government is spending millions propping up a technology so unreliable it needs a mobile ambulance just to keep it moving. Innovation? That’s not innovation. That’s desperation with a paint job.
Hunter MP Pat Conroy stood there in Cardiff, beaming like he’d just discovered sliced bread, telling us this is “the future.” The future? Mate, if the future is queuing behind a battery trailer on the side of the Pacific Highway, I’ll stick with unleaded.
And here’s the best part — under this government, the criteria for a grant is simple. Not: “Does it work?” Not: “Will it last?” No, no. The test is: “Does it look green? Does it make for a nice photo op?” That’s it. Albanese grins, cameras click, taxpayers cough up the cash. Done.
But hey, maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe we’re not thinking big enough. These trailers could have all sorts of uses! Why stop at EVs? They could power a latte machine at the ABC’s next climate emergency broadcast. They could run the sound system at Rising Tide’s next dance party camp down at Foreshore Park.
Meanwhile, Australians can’t afford groceries. Hospitals are stretched. Roads are crumbling. But don’t worry — Canberra’s got battery trailers!
Here’s the truth: these things do have real uses in defence, in disasters, on remote worksites. Fine. But that’s not why Labor loves them. They love them because they tick two boxes: “green” and “good photo.” That’s the Albanese government in a nutshell.
So while you’re working longer hours just to pay the power bill, remember: your hard-earned is out there fuelling battery trailers, lining up for Instagram glory shots. And if that doesn’t make your blood boil — check your pulse.